My knee hurts.
And it should.
While my surgery was done through two tiny holes, it still was surgery.
With lots of prodding, lots of cutting, and lots of fluid to make the space around the knee so that the surgeon could see what she was doing while she prodded and cut…
I wasn’t expecting the surgery to hurt so much. I’m guessing that’s because Rich has been through such intense surgeries. In fact his most recent surgery was on his right knee, just like mine. But his involved both arthroscopic surgery and standard surgery with scalpels. So I thought my recovery would be a piece of cake.
While Rich was recuperating, he would grimace and sometimes moan as he moved his knee. That surprised me because he’s usually pretty quiet about pain.
I don’t like to display any emotion except joy, and it has to be a particularly joyous event to express joy.
I work hard to hide my emotions. I NEVER cry in front of people, even my family. I’ve only cried, really sob sucked, in front of another person once. That was on Rich’s shoulders during a particularly difficult accidental death.
While struggling with the post surgery pain, I kept telling anyone who asked that I was fine. After Rich asked for the thirtieth time, I finally admitted that I was hurting.
After talking about it for a few minutes, I decided to up my pain pill dosage. I would still be within what the doctor prescribed, but I would take more than what Rich took during his more difficult surgery.
The extra pills helped some, but I still hurt–a lot. And it was particularly painful whenever I moved my knee a certain way. And, of course, I kept getting myself into that position as hard as I tried not to.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I grimaced and let out a long groan when my knee screamed in pain.
I didn’t scream out in pain. I just made an “I’m in pain!” face and let out a soft little groan.
And you know what? It worked!!!! I didn’t feel the pain as much.
I’ve wasted nearly 59 years not grimacing, groaning, or bitching to relieve pain.
Watch out, world! Here comes the new Queen of Groan, crying whenever she needs to!