Embarrassing Medical Exams

We’ve all had them…

My most embarrassing moment was when I was getting a shot of penicillin for tonsillitis. I knew I was getting a shot. I knew it was going be in my right rump. I watched her start to give me the shot.

And then I slapped the nurse’s hand away. Not tapped, but slapped with an audible WHACK.

I have no idea why I did it.

When I apologized, she just laughed and said, “You’d be surprised at how often that happens.”

Here are some embarrassing medical exams from the medical professional’s point of view. (Thanks to Carol for sharing these on Facebook!)

EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS

cabA man comes into the ER and yells . . .’My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.’

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear.

Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs – – –
and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

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At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.

Stethoscope patient(3)

‘Big breaths,’ I instructed.

‘Yes, they used to be,’ replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

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image2One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct (heart attack for us non-medical types).

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a ‘massive internal fart.’

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

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During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.

‘Which one?’ I asked.

‘The patch. The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours
and now I’m running out of places to put it!’

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I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see.

Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

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old-hands-300x189While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ‘How long have you been bedridden?’

After a look of complete confusion she answered, ‘ Why, not for about twenty years – when my husband was alive.’

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

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I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .’ So how’s your breakfast this morning?’

‘It’s very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste,’ Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled ‘KY Jelly.’

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Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit

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A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.

When she was completely disrobed on the operating table,
the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green
and above it there was a Tattoo that read . . .’ Keep off the grass.’

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient’s dressing, Which said, ‘Sorry . . . Had to mow the lawn.’

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Submitted by RN with No Name

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As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams.
To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing, further embarrassing me.

I looked up from my work and sheepishly said … ‘ I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?’

She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . ..

‘ No, doctor, but the song you were whistling was, “I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener”.’

Dr. Wouldn’t Submit His Name

 

7 thoughts on “Embarrassing Medical Exams”

  1. I read that somewhere other than your blog. Unbelievable isn’t it? I truly am afraid during an exam I will fart. How is that for embrassment?

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